i must say, your persistence is truly impressive! for over a year now you’ve faithfully sent me updates about [redacted brand] glass pipes, despite the minor detail that i don’t actually smoke.

while elegant glassware is always tempting to look at, as a non-smoker my cabinet shelf doesn’t require any additional decoration. still, i do appreciate you keeping me informed all this time. it’s nice to know such a dedicated salesperson is looking out for my theoretical bong needs.

even though i’ve never been and will never be an actual customer, your emails have brought me daily amusement. each creatively-worded subject line leaves me wondering what new marketing ploy you’ll come up with next. not many salespeople would keep trying for this long without a single sale, especially to someone who doesn’t even use their products!

please don’t stop sending your promotions - i look forward to seeing what other deals or closeouts you’ll promote in the future, even if i remain just an entertained observer on the sidelines. thank you for the constant entertainment over this past year, despite my lack of genuine interest in glassware.

wishing you many happy and successful sales, hopefully to clients who will actually purchase something! keep up the stellar marketing efforts.

cheerfully yours,
mgx